Life Lesson or Parenting Fail?

Let me tell you about one of my recent shopping expeditions with Lily. We had some time to ourselves and decided to head out to the local shopping centre for some pre-Christmas window shopping. I had a few things I wanted to check out (gift ideas for Ava's teachers, school supplies for next year, Christmas presents for the family) and we browsed from store to store.

For the beginning Lily was great. She walked with me around the stores, didn't touch breakable things and only used her inside voice. We browsed through a number of stores this way. All was good.

Then we headed to one certain store. We've been into this store many, many times before. Lily knows this store and knows what she'll find in there.

First the stationary section. To get there we had to pass the book section. Lily got side tracked with some Disney Princess books and didn't follow me. Not to worry, I could see her from where I was browsing. All happy.

Next I needed to browse further into stationary. From where I needed to go I couldn't see Lily and the books so I went and asked her to please come with me now. Off we went further into the stationary aisles.

After stationary was the electronic section. I needed to look for headphones so we headed to that aisle. Lily knows the electronic section very well. Any time we go shopping as a family, Patrick is quite happy for me to browse anywhere I'd like for as long as I like because I'll find him in the DVD section when I'm done.
So after I'm done browsing for headphones we head over to the next aisle to look at the DVDs. Lily is happy looking at Barbie and Dora DVDs, I'm not. I popped into the next aisle and called out every few moments to Lily, "Lily are you there?" "Yes mummy I'm here" etc. After a little bit we headed onto our next section.

Christmas decorations. Now I like Christmas decorations and looking at them makes me happy. So I was happy to browse the aisles with Lily. I had a certain decoration I was looking for, and not finding it didn't want to spend too long in the aisles. Lily was in her element. She was loving all the decorations and was happily chatting away to them and herself while we where there. When I wanted to look in the next aisle I asked Lily to follow me. She didn't. She was in one end of an aisle and I was in the same end of the next aisle. I couldn't see her, but I could hear her still happily chatting to herself and the decorations. I was comfortable with this. We weren't going to be long and I wasn't far from her. I'm sure any parent would say they've been in the same situation. Kids being kids never stay where you want them too when you're shopping. If I couldn't have heard her, it would be another story. I feel the need to keep explaining this, because what happened next rocked me.

Lily was chatting away happily and honestly I was happy listening to her be so happy. Then she must have realised that we weren't in the same aisle anymore and called out "Mummy, where are you?" She didn't sound distressed, she wasn't crying, she just seemed genuinely surprised that we weren't together anymore. As I made my way to the top of Lily's aisle I found 4 women (some with children) standing around discussing Lily.

Random women:
"Is she yours?"
"No she's not mine"
"I'll take her to the front desk, you can't just have a little girl walking around by herself"

Me:
"Um excuse me, she is my daughter. I was in the next aisle and could hear her chatting away the whole time. I had asked her to follow me and she hadn't."

Random women:
Death Stares

Me:
"Lily are you OK? I was in the next aisle. I could hear you chatting away. I asked you to come with me though didn't I?"

Lily was fine. I think the only distressing thing was finding 4 women standing in front of her discussing taking her away. And as for the women, why wouldn't you look into the aisles around where you found a child alone? Why wouldn't you ask the child what mummy looks like and where did you last see her? None of these women spoke to Lily. They spoke about her, in front of her.

So we left the store, hand in hand, happily. Except for the very strong feeling of parental fail I felt. Had I done something horrible? Was I a terrible mum? Guilt, guilt, guilt!

I've told a few friends about the shopping trip and the overall response has been that my actions were fine. I could hear her, I was close by, I responded quickly when she called. And still, I feel guilt.

So tell me, have you suffered parental guilt over something similar?

Dream Boobs!

I like the party plan idea. Get a bunch of your girlfriends together in a room, have some wine and shop for something someone is telling you is awesome. And I've been to a lot of party plan parties. Old school party plan like Tupperware and linen parties. Fancy parties for make-up, lingerie and perfume. New age parties for candles, jewelry making, chocolate and mosaic. Practical parties for educational games for the kids and cleaning products. And racy parties for sex toys.

I attend these parties feeling no sense of obligation, except for the obligation I put on myself. I am that person who will buy a token item it help the host get some extra credits, even when I have been invited with strict instructions to not feel any obligation to purchase. Fact is, I like shopping. And what's not to like about an afternoon of wine with girlfriends and shopping?

This post comes about because my most recent purchase from a party plan party (this time lingerie) arrived today.

I was invited to an Intimo lingerie party held a fortnight ago by the lovely Jen from Twitter. Having met Jen only a few times I was touched to be invited and also a little hesitant. You see, I'm secretly (well not so much now) quite a paranoid person. I approached Jen's party with equal measures of excitement for an afternoon out and trepidation of what I may find when I got there.
What I found when I arrived was a very welcoming house full of ladies, most whom I hadn't met before, but quickly learnt had been chatting with for ages on Twitter. The fantastic Kym was our very informative and hilarious party plan guru. She was honest, knew her stuff and didn't run a pushy party plan party. There were giggles and shocking revelations. Who knew so many people put their bra on "wrong". And who would have ever thought that out of 7 women, I was the only one who did it "right"**?! (High five mum for passing on that knowledge all those years ago). Kym made getting your gear off in the lounge room a non event and she was much friendlier than any David Jones fitting lady. Now while my cash flow required restrictions on purchases I did order a new bra and fancy cardi.

Skip forward a week to find Australia Post have left me a parcel collection card. Yep my new bra has arrived! My bra requirements were fairly simple, and my new dream bra delivers. Big time. It's true, I did wear a dress today that put more cleavage out there than I normally would, but I had to have a proper test run. And what a run! Patrick seemed to snap out of his bad mood as soon as I came out of the bedroom dressed. The guy at the grocery store was much more chatty than normal  and the guy at the servo seemed very pleased to see me.

My Facebook status today said something along the lines of "Endless possibilities for mayhem, and a new bra" well I didn't get up to any great mayhem, but my new bra sure made the day alot of fun. Shameless, sure, but you've gotta highlight your assets, right?

Thank you Jen and Kym for hosting such a friendly and relaxed afternoon. I look forward to many more get togethers in the future. And snaps to Brett who spent most of the time hiding out in the study trying not to be anywhere there was a lingerie clad woman.

** The "right" way to put on a bra is to put your arms in first, then boobs, then reach around the back and do up the clasp.
This way it won't wear out the elastic around your middle if you swivel the bra around after doing it up at the front. And after doing a hasty poll of friends I have found I'm in the minority. Who'd have thunk it?!

Do you like party plan parties? What's your favourite party plan? And if you're game, which way do you put your bra on?