Hey Jerk Face!! - This lady has road rage

I'll admit that I suffer the occasional case of road rage. No, road rage is the wrong term. It invokes ideas of crazy people with baseball bats and death wishes. Let's go with traffic induced frustrations. However, ask my passengers and they'd probably say it's more often than occasional but what do they know. Truth is I like driving. I have no problems with sitting in traffic (unless I have to be somewhere, like $1 every minute late charging daycare or something) and am generally pretty mellow. But there is one thing that really pisses me off. And it's not even a law breaking thing. It's a courtesy. A freaking courtesy!

Wave dammit!!

It's the wave. You know the scene, where the traffic has to zipper merge in (letting one car in for every car already in the lane) or where a lane ends etc. Now it's a courtesy to wave to the car behind that let you in. It's not required by law, but it is a freaking courtesy. I could have speed up jerk and not let you in. I could have. But I didn't. I let you in, and you should wave your thanks. I always wave thanks. I have to stop myself waving thanks when the other car has to give way to me by law. I'm just that friendly. My kids think it's weird that I'm constantly waving to strangers but I'm teaching them about courtesy. And karma.

For a second I'll seriously think twice about letting you in again if you didn't wave the first time. For fear of damage to my car though I will let you in if traffic permits, but you'll get the worst scowl I can manage.

So if you let me in while driving around you know I'll give you a cheery thank you wave. And if I let you in.... I expect the same back.

Christmas in July

Ok, so the title might make you cringe (honestly, who wants a reminder that Christmas is less than 6 months away by having a Christmas party??) but it seemed fitting. Christmas in July because it's about this time of year that I start looking at the Christmas toy sales and layby.

Attention: Stop reading now if A) you're a child, or B) you're an adult that hasn't yet received the talk about Santa.

You've been warned.

So it's about this time of year that the major store have their toy sales and flog the idea of layby now for Christmas. A genius idea if you don't have a massive purse of cash in December, are time poor and crowds freak you out, or you have small, inquisitive children who feel that any area of the house is theirs to explore. I'm all 3. I have small children, limited storage space at home, no massive purse of cash in December and am very, very alone time poor. So Christmas layby it is. And this year I have discovered that one of the stores has a magical system of ordering anything you like from the catalogue online, print it out, take it to the layby counter and ta-da! you're done. Simple, effective and working mum friendly.

The catalogues arrived today and I asked the girls (3 and 5 years old) to go through and pick out what they would like to ask Santa for. Combined I think they racked up about $7000 worth of stuff, so while I struggle to find the balance between wanting to give them everything and the desire to not fill the house with more crap I thought I'd share my Christmas wish list (as it stands today).

A family holiday somewhere warm

A night out with friends... with lots of cocktails

New iPhone upgrade

Jimmy Choo heels - to wear on nights out



Black Lash Blast mascara



Black Dramatic Effect Eyeliner



Red lipstick

A letter to Tallulah (alt title: A Mother's Hope)

Tallulah is only a small girl now but this letter is for her 18th birhtday. To explain what she will probably know, from the observations of a friend outside her family. Tallulah's mother gave me her blessing to publish this, wishing to bring hope to someone in the same situation as she was.

 Dear Tallulah,

Happy 18th birthday sweetheart! On this very important milestone I wanted to tell you just how special and loved you are and share with you the journey of your being here.
I met your mum and dad when my first baby was only tiny. Tania and I worked together and it was clear how much she and your dad Andrew both loved being involved in the lives of their friends, and how much they enjoyed having children around. There was nothing they wouldn't do for their friends, and Aunty Tan and Uncle Andy were some of the best non-family family you could ever find.

But there was a sadness in them. While they loved the children of their family and friends, they longed for a child of their own. Years of natural techniques weren't working for them and since they had so much love to give, they turned to fostering children. Foster children don't come for happy, safe, stable homes like yours and well it takes a special kind of person to take on that responsibility. It was about this time that my second daughter was born. All through my pregnancy Tania was there cheering me on, asking how I was feeling and rubbing my belly at every opportunity she got! She loved to talk to my belly and was as excited as I was. Still, at this time with an oversupply of love and a desire to hold their own baby in their arms, your mum and dad turned to IVF.

IVF was a technique and experience that I had never had. I was thrilled when your mum and dad told me there were going through IVF and cheered them at every step. Listening through the horrific "harvesting" stories and wishing and praying with them for the baby to "stick". It was early in the IVF process that I gave your mum a medallion and prayer card of St Gerard Majella. He is the patron saint of mothers, mothers-to-be and birthing. I had worn and carried a medallion during both of my pregnancies and continue to do so. If prayers were to be said, we said them to him. Time and time again we hoped and prayed, but to no avail. The heartbreak your parents felt was tangible. It was devastating to us all that such beautiful, wonderful people couldn't be parents. It was with uncertainty that I visited your mum (with two small daughters in tow) and an incredible need to not upset her further with a reminder of what wasn't hers. Tania is an amazing woman though. She would ask to postpone visits if she was having a sad day, but still loved to see my girls and enjoyed sharing their lives on her good ones. After many unsuccessful rounds of IVF and many, many prayers to St Gerard (and who ever else listens) Tania and Andrew finally gave up what they felt was their final chance at parenthood and worked towards accepting their fate. They battled on together, some sad days and some good, and continued to enjoy the role of Aunty and Uncle in my daughters lives.

One day some months later, I suddenly received a text message from your mum. The message simply read, "How would you like to be an Aunty?"

Immediately I was on the phone finding out the meaning of this cryptic text message. An Aunty? To who, Sophie the dog?? But no, the unbelievable had happened. After all the years of struggling with illness, stress and disappointment of IVF, Tania and Andrew had conceived a baby. You hear about it often. A couple unexpectedly and naturally falling pregnant after giving up their unsuccessful IVF dream, but when it happens to someone you know the joy is unbelievable. I was thrilled! All the joy I had experience was finally going to be experienced by your mum. All the stories and wonder I'd share with her, she was going to be able to share with me. She was going to have a little girl all of her own.

Nine months later, you beautiful Tallulah were born. It's an understatement to say you're loved. You are beyond loved. And I'm sure you've grown into an amazing young woman, full of hopes and dreams and endless potential. And I bet if you ask your mum today, she's tell you she's still carrying that St Gerard Majella medal and prayer card with her. All our prayers weren't in vain, no matter how much at the time we thought no one was listening. Some one was, it was just that the time wasn't right.

That's the story of how you came to be. You are a joy and precious miracle and offer hope to others who are in the same situation as your parents.

Happy Birthday Tallulah!

With much love and special wishes,

Aunty Beth

Us and Them

Admit it, you're either Us or Them. Most people refer to themselves as Us and everyone else is Them. Either way, everyone identifies themselves from one camp or another. You're either QLD or NSW, State School or Private, Heavy Metal or Pop, Today or Sunrise... North or South. And it's a comment about the latter that prompted this blog.

In Brisbane there seems to be a definite divide between North and South. It makes sense that the dividing line is the river. So for arguments sake, let's say the river is the divide.

So I'm Northside. Always have been and in my heart, always will. I grew up here. I still live here and all my oldest friends are here. I went to school here, went to parties here and know my way around with confidence. Give me almost any Northside suburb and I'll find it, even if I haven't been there before. I'll generally know where abouts it is or what it's near. Without a map I'd probably even get pretty close to most of them. The roads don't bother me, going out at night doesn't bother me and the public transport doesn't bother me (aside from general public transport issues for another blog).

Growing up it seemed that all the crime in Brisbane was committed on the Southside. Sure that's grossly inaccurate but to the 8 year old me, that's how it seemed. And I'm sure my friends thought the same. We heard rumours of certain Southside suburbs, suburbs you'd never go to during the daytime, let alone the night. If by chance you did find  yourself there, you'd lock your doors and drive as quickly through as you could. When we hit our teens and started going to parties, if the venue was South of the river it was a no go. Driving on the Southside is a nightmare. The roads are strange and the drivers don't seem to know where they're going. When my brother was in a bash car rally out near Ipswich a girlfriend and I went to watch. It was a great day watching boys drive around in muddy, beaten up old cars (my first datsun was one of them) but when it ended we were faced with a problem. Should we tackle the huge drive home or find somewhere to stay over night? We pulled into a motel in Ipswich about 5pm and prepared for one of the strangest nights of our lives. Now grown up me knows that Ipswich, while a fair drive from home, doesn't require an overnight stay. At the time we were 18. Living and learning. 

To make things difficult, my darling husband Patrick is Southside. Very Southside. In fact, if he hadn't lied to me when we first met about where he lived, we wouldn't have had a second date. He was born and raised in one of those suburbs (that as a Northsider) we considered the most notorious in Brisbane. Over our dating time I spent a lot of time in that suburb. And overall I generally felt safe. There were definitely times and places that I wouldn't go alone, and there was that one night about 2am that his friend bashed on the bedroom window and screamed at us that people were chasing him and to let him in.

So how have we combined the North and South? Easily. When we moved into our first unit we agreed that we'd do 6 months leases on each side of the river to find out which area truly suited us. Our first unit was in Ascot on the North. We stayed there for 2 years until we bought our house, even further North. Each time the lease was about to run out we discussed moving and both agreed (both!!) that North was the place to be.
Over the years I've copped heaps of shit from his friends and mine over the North V South thing. Recently a comment was made by a friends dad that brought it all crashing back. The conversation went something like this

Friends dad: "There is a definite divide between the North and South. How'd you feel spending all that time in <insert name of Southside suburb that Patrick grew up in> when you're so Northside? I mean you probably went to Private school too, didn't you?"

Well yes I did. But take that up with my parents. It wasn't a decision I recall making. And I wasn't aware that I was "so Northside". What does that even mean? I know his friends thought I was a stuck up Northside snob back in the early days (they told me) but we're all good now. Geez.

So our household combines North and South quite well. These days we spend more time in the North but still plenty in the South visiting friends, family and places we like to go.

But for tonight there is only one camp in our house. North and South is forgotten, tonight it's all

QUEENSLANDER!!

 

Battle Ready

Having two little girls I am always aware of the image I'm putting out there and how they might interpret it. Everyone has heard of the little girl who watched her mother constantly berate herself and her appearance and ended up with low self esteem and an eating disorder. It's with this in mind that (even though I do have moments of disappointment in my appearance) I never try to over emphasise my feelings in front of the girls. I try to be honest (this dress doesn't fit right, instead of "Ugh this dress makes me look fat!!") and I tell them all the time how beautiful and unique they are.

In the months leading up to starting school, my mothers group and I would discuss bullying and how to protect our kids against it. I had never thought how to discuss bullying with my daughter, instead I aimed to give her the self confidence to not be bothered by bullying. My plan was (and is) to teach her to love herself for who she is and enjoy being herself. Not to think she's better than anyone else, but to know she is as good as the next person. And almost 2 terms into Prep I think we've done ok. There have been moments of bullying but my delightful daughter comes home and explains the situation perfectly. "Mummy, Anna wasn't very nice to me today. I think she's forgotten that even though you don't have to be friends with everyone you still have to be kind."

So for now I think we're doing ok. The lessons certainly aren't learnt, they are on-going. And her self confidence is something that we keep nourishing too.

She confident enough to be herself and do her own thing when everyone else is doing the 'done' thing and if when she's a little older and wants to start wearing make up or skanky clothes, I'll explain that no, you don't have to be like everyone else to be beautiful.

But a solider wouldn't go into battle without his weapon or a knight without his armour. Either piece would be pointless with the skills and training they have, and as such, I don't go into battle without eyeliner, lipstick and perfume. While they aren't going to win me the war, they sure as hell help me face the battle. 

Conversations with a 5 year old

I thought I'd share some of the conversations my 5 year old daughter and I (with input from my 3 year old) have.

"Mummy, why is Nanna your mum?"

Just lucky I guess.

"Why are you my mum?"

Um... because I guess you're just lucky. - Getting tricky now

"NO! Because she was cooked in your belly!!" - Thank you Miss 3 for your input and wisdom

"Mummy, what are belly buttons for?"

For feeding you when you were in my belly.

"Well what are they for now?"

"For just sitting there" - Again Miss 3, thank you.

I guess they are for just sitting there. Let's go outside!

Generation ??

Recently while discussing the quirks and differences of generations X and Y I discovered another generational "cusp-er" like myself. Generation cusp-ism was something I've been struggling with for years but didn't know there were others like me. What a discovery!

Wikipedia seems to claim Gen X is anyone born between 1961 - 1981 and Gen Yer's are those born between 1982 - 1995. However other sources claim Gen Y starts in 1982 and can include years anything up to 2003.

So being born in 1981 where do I land, and what traits defines me? As a fellow cusp-er described "We're too young to get Gen X respect but too old to 'have it all' like Gen Y". A truer word has never been said. Shows like Talking 'Bout Your Generation confuse me. I identify with the Gen X team, but am told I should be in the Gen Y team. The new Gen Y "kids" at work confuse me. They're all celebrating 21st birthdays (80's themed which they have to google for costume ideas) and look puzzled when I start talking about Fraggle Rock or mention Mr T. I can not be associated with a generation that doesn't get The Babysitters Club and Sweet Valley High books, leg warmers, fluro and owning a second hand Datsun 1200Y (or similar) as your first car without personalised plates, or who claim the TV shows of their childhood are Rugrats and Power Rangers. Seriously? You don't know who Punky Brewster is? You didn't know Johnny Depp was on 21 Jump Street? And you never saw You Can't Do That On Television? 

Overall I have nothing against Gen Y but you make me feel old. And I'm supposed to be one of you! So I propose Cusp Generation. Who's with me?   

Further explainations

I think before I get too far ahead of myself with stories and observations I should fill you in on just a little more about myself. The very basics if you will, so that future blogs make sense.

So I met a wonderful man and we've been married for 8 years. Let's call him Patrick. We have 2 gorgeous little girls (miss 5 and miss 3) and are enjoying all the thrills that come with having a family young. No overseas travel, no wild nights out (well not many anymore), and a constantly messy house. But it's all fun and games and we wouldn't change it for the world! I work part time in a field that I enjoy, but would happily be a stay at home mum (at least while they are still young).  

I have a very ordinary family (mum, dad, brother and sister) however my sister is disabled so we have that added challenge in our lives.

We don't have any pets. It's partly because I'm not an animal person, and partly because I know I'll be the one looking after said pet. Having said that though, I do think it's good for kids to grow up with pets. I think it teaches them about compassion and responsibility, and we will get a small, fluffy puppy at some stage. But just not yet.

I like reading, BBQ's in the back yard, roller derby, drinking with friends, watching my girls play, listening to live music, being at the beach, complete serenity and loud punk rock.

Now I think you know a little more about me. There's still plenty more but that gives you a basis to go on.

Till next time

The blog about a blog

Well hello, it's a pleasure to assume you're reading this. Let me start by introducing myself: I am not Jemima Bateman. I'm Beth. Jemima Bateman is the girl I'd be if I was a porn star. The girl I've introduced to people who I never expected to see again and the girl most likely to well.... who knows. Over time, if you continue to read this, you'll come to learn more about me. What I like, what I don't like and what I think about things. There are things you won't learn about me but I feel that's fair.

So the blog about a blog.... what's with the title Beth? Great question, thanks for asking Beth. This blog is about my decision to write a blog. It wasn't a quick decision, neither was it a lengthy one. It was one that I feel was made at the right time, with the right information. I'd like to thank the lovely friends who answered my possibly annoying questions ("Should I blog?" "Who do you blog with?" "Will anyone read it?") with informative opinions and feedback. It's with your help that I'm here. So I'm going to blog. I'll write about the things that happen to me, the things I see happen to other people, things I like and things I don't like. I might even write in response to the things other people write. It's really an open book right now, so to speak.

And here we are. Together on this journey of world wide blogging. I can't promise that there will be something from me here every day. Memories of all the journals and diaries I've tried to keep in years gone past haunt me. Opening the pages to make a new entry, only to find the last one was 6, 8, 12, 18 months ago and therefore every entry being a catch up on what's been missed in the last X number of months. So I'll do my best. Some may be long and some may be short but I will try to make them all informative, interesting, amusing or all 3.

And a final thing for you to know about me tonight is that I wish you all a good night x